Facebook Zaman P. Ramlee

klik untuk lebih jelas

Lawak #6

Manager asked sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? 
Sardar replied: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X. 


After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, 
Do I look like a foreigner? 
Wife: No! Why? 
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner? 


One tourist from U.. S.A. asked Sardar: 
Any great man born in this village??? 
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!! 


Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanti 
So Sardar writes, "Gandhi ji was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanti 


When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted the mirror. Sardar shouted, 
"You are trying to see my wife? Sit behind. I will drive. 


Sardar: My mobile bill how much? 
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status 
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL. 



Sardar: I think that girl is deaf.. 
Friend: How do u know? 
Sardar: I told her that I Love her, but she said her chappals are new 



Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife! 
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!! 



Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world? 
Sardar: ZEBRA 
Teacher: How? 
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White 



Sardar attending an interview in Software Company. 
Manager: Do U know MS Office? 
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir. 



Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay " 
Air hostess said: "B silent." 
Sardar: "Ok... Ombay. Ombay" 



Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?" 
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !! 



Sardar: Miss, Did u call my mobile? 
Teacher: Me? No, why? 
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call". (Had never thought of it) 

Sarapan pagi yang berubah tahun demi tahun selepas berkahwin

1st Year

2nd Year

3rd Year

5th Year

10th Year

20th Year

25th Year..!!

p/s: Kah3!tapi harap-harap la bakal bini PL tak camni ek..bakal bini PL kan comel gituu..haha..

Jenis-jenis Motor

English is a Funny Language

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?

In what other language do they call the third hand on the clock the second hand?

Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?

Why - in our crazy language - can your nose run and your feet smell?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:

If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume? 

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.

But fingers don't fing and grocers don't groce.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?

If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the preacher praught?

If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can't turn a light in;

In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.

In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?

Tricky Plurals
===============

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;

but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;

yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,

and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Lets face it, English is a crazy language!

Iklan Fair & Lovely Obama

p/s: KAH3!

Lawak #5

Pada suatu malam yang hening dan sunyi di lebuhraya utara selatan kelihatan sebuah kelisa putih tersadai di sebelah lane kerosakan. Ada orang tua yang berdiri disebelahnya,pemilik kelisa tu sedang berjalan kehulu kehilir cuba menahan kereta supaya membantu.tidak ada sebuah kereta pun berhenti.tiba-tiba datangla sebuah kereta evo10 berhenti di sebelah kelisa tadi.

"Ada apa nie pakcik,kereta rosak ke?"tanya pemuda berusia dalam lingkungan 20an."a'ha rosak "jawap pakcik tu simple aje....

"Ok,cam nie,saya ada tali nanti saya ikat kat kereta saya dan saya tarik kereta pakcik sampai tol"mamat nie bagi idea.

"worrait gak tu...", tapi....nanti kalau pakcik rasa awak bawak laju pakcik akan hon dan bagi high beam"

"Ok pakcik"..mamat nie pun ikatlah tali kat kereta kelisa didepan dan hujungnya diikat dibelakang bumper evonye.
dia pun jalanla..dengan slow dan berhati-hati. Dalam lima kilometer mamat nie laju le sikit,apalagi pakcik tu pun hon dan bagi high beam la kat mamat tu.Mamat tu pun slowkan balik..

Tiba-tiba ada sebuah ferrari datang dari belakang dan press minyak kat mamat evo10.apa lagi,jiwa muda patang dicabar, dia pun tekan la minyak rapat nak kejar ferrari nie...lupa la pulak dia dengan kelisa org tua yg diikat kat belakang kereta dia.

Orang tua tu punya la hangin satu badan,dia pun hon dan bagi hi beam bagai nak rak.Mamat evo10 tu dah tak sedar dah angin punya pasal.
Kebetulan pilak polis ada buat speed trap kat bawah jambatan.

Vrooommm......bedesup peginye... ini dah lebih speed limit nie...kate polis nie..cecah 250kmj memasing nie... Dia pun contact la kengkawan dia kat depan supaya saman kereta-kereta yg laju nie...

"Over..over,ada tiga buah kenderaan memandu melebihi had laju,sebuah ferrari,sebuah evo10 dan sebuah lagi kalau aku cakap korang mesti tak percaye punye.........sebuah kelisa biru tengah cucuk angin evo10 tu dan bagi hon dan hi beam nak potong!!!"

Lawak #4

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: “I will choose my own bride!”
Father: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son: “Well, in that case…ok”

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Father: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…ok” 

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank. 
Father: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Father: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case…ok”

Rupa Celebs Gemok!

George W. Bush

Cameron Diaz

Jim Carrey

Lindsay Lohan

Jennifer Aniston

J. LO

Britney Spears

Khinzir obese :P

p/s: ermm..Ho Liao!

Iklan-iklan komersial yang teramat jujur :p

Agak nya apa akan jadi jika iklan-iklan komersial seperti coca-cola dan Mc Donald menjadi terlalu jujur? Lihat iklan-iklan kat bawah dan anda tentukan..hehe

p/s: KONFEM LINGKUP!

Mimik wajah Mr. Bean

p/s: KAHKAHKAH!

Japlish..haha

Negara Jepun memang terkenal dengan sifat bangga mereka terhadap bahasa, budaya dan adat mereka yang tersendiri. Camne2 pon mereka tetap terpaksa jugak menggunakan bahasa Inggeris sebagai bahasa perantaraan kan?Ye la, konfem la negara diorang tu ade pelancong dari seluruh dunia datang melawat. Tapi bila dah masuk bab2 bahasa inggeris nie..memang tunggang-langgang jugak la PL tengok..malahan lebih teruk dari kita orang Malaysia..ape lagi..watch LAH!

 

buy used one?!WTF!

klik untuk lebih paparan

Lawak #3

Sepasang suami isteri, dah lama kahwin tapi tak ada cahaya mata. Si suami teramat lah kedekut, bukan setakat taik idung ma sin, Taik ma ta pun ma sin gak. Salah satu xtvt tahunan mereka ialah mengunjungi satu pameran udara.

Tahun pertama , si isteri nak sangat naik sebuah pesawat ringan. Pergilah mereka berjumpa dengan pilot pesawat tu. "Encik, berapa saya kena bayar untuk menaiki pesawat ni?" tanya sisuami

 

 "Tak mahal encik, cu ma RM50 untuk satu pusingan" jawab pilot tu.

 "Uuiishh.. mahalnya,tak jadi la saya nak naik" jawab si suami lalu menarik tangan Isterinya berlalu dari situ.

 "Alaa... abang ni, RM50 pun nak berkira, Setahun sekali je bang, dah la ma saya nak naik pesawat cam tu" rayu si isteri dengan nada ma nja dengan harapan si suami akan ubah fikiran.

 "Jgn nak ngada2, RM50 tu banyak benda lain kita boleh beli"
 Kecewalah si isteri atas sifat kedekut suaminya. Bukannya tak ma mpu,dlm bank melambak lagi duit dia.

 Tahun kedua, mereka pergi lagi. Si isteri sekalilagi memujuk Suaminya untuk menaiki pesawat tu. Berjumpa lah mereka dengan pilot tu, pilot yg sa ma tahun lepas. Tapi kali ni, bayaranya dah jadi RM80...

Apa lagi sekali lagi kecewa lah si isteri tadi.

 

Tahun ketiga, mereka Pergi lagi... Si isteri tadi awal2 lagi dah pujuk si suami untuk menaiki pesawat ringan tu.

"Baiklah, kalau bayaranya kurang dr RM30, kita naiklah"kata suami yang membuatkan si isteri menarik muka ma am krn dia tahu bayarannya pasti akan meningkat lagi tahun ni.

Mereka menuju ke pesawat yang sa ma cam tahun lepas dan jumpa ngan pilot yang sama juga. Seperti yang dijangkakan, bayaranya dah jadi RM100.

Segeralah si suami menarik tangan isterinya berlalu dr situ. Si pilot td yang kesiankan si isteri yang saban tahun mengimpikan untuk menaiki pesawat tu memanggil mereka semula.

 "Encik, berapa yang encik sanggup bayar?"

 "Aku cuma nak bayar bawah RM30 ajer"jawab si suami.

 Setelah berfikir seketika, berkatalah si pilot tadi
"Baiklah, Encik boleh naik pesawat tu dengan bayaran RM20 sahaja tapi dgn satu syarat"

 Gembiralah si suami tadi, RM20 ajer

"tapi apa syaratnya"

 "semasa di udara, encik dan isteri encik tak boleh Mengeluarkan satu suara pun. Kalau bersuara juga, saya akan kenakan bayaran> RM10 bagi setiap perkataan yang keluar dari mulut encik atau isteriencik"
 jawab pilot td sambil tersenyum.

 "Baiklah saya setuju" jawab si suami dengan yakin bolehnya.
 Maka, naiklah mereka akan pesawat tu. Pilot tadi pun ada
 niat lain sebenarnya. dia nak ajar si suami yang kedekut 
tadi.

 Dia pun buat lah aksi2 acrobatik yang diakui membahaya.
 Macam2 aksi dia buat, tapi hairan gak dia sbb suami isteri
 yang duduk kat belakang dia tak menjerit pun.

 Dia cuba lagi buat aksi2 yang merbahaya, berpusing2 pesawat
 tu, tapi still senyap gak. Setelah muslihat dia tak berjaya, 
pilot tu pun mendaratkan lah pesawat dia.

 Rasa rugi pulak sbb cu ma boleh dpt RM20 ajer. Bila dah
mendarat, Cu ma si suami yang turun dari pesawat tu.
"Ehh? ma na isteri encik?"tanya pilot tu terkejut.
 "Dia dah jatuh ma sa kau pusing2 pesawat tadi"
 "Hahh apasal tak cakap"
"Kalau aku cakap nanti kena tambah bayaran lak" jwb si suami
 Sambil menghulurkan RM20 kepada pilot td dan terus berlalu...